Joel Grey’s Ex Wife Jo Wilder: Their Marriage Before He Came Out As A Gay Man

Joel Grey, born Joel David Katz on April 11, 1932, in Cleveland, Ohio, is a multifaceted entertainer whose career has spanned over seven decades. He is renowned for his contributions to Broadway, film, television, and photography.

Joel’s Broadway debut came in 1951, and he quickly established himself as a versatile performer with roles in various productions. However, his breakthrough came in 1966 when he landed the role of the enigmatic Master of Ceremonies in the musical Cabaret. His captivating performance earned him critical acclaim, a Tony Award, and forever cemented his place in Broadway history.

In addition to his stage success, Joel made notable appearances in films and television. He received an Academy Award for his reprisal of the MC role in the 1972 film adaptation of “Cabaret.” Grey’s other film credits include “Man on a Swing,” “Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins,” and “Dancer in the Dark.”

On television, he portrayed memorable characters in series like “Law & Order,” “Brooklyn Bridge,” and “Oz.” Grey also gained widespread recognition for his recurring role as the father of Jennifer Grey’s character in the beloved 1980s movie “Dirty Dancing.”

Aside from acting, Joel is a passionate photographer. He has exhibited his work in galleries, published books and his Instagram.

And in his personal life, Joel found incredible success as well. He was married to Jo Wilder for almost 24 years and they welcomed two children. However, they divorced once Joel came to terms with his authentic self and came out as gay. Let’s learn more about Jo and their relationship, below.

Jo Was On Broadway When She Met Joel

See more

Born in Brooklyn, Jo attended the Neighborhood Playhouse, where she studied under Sanford Meisner and with actors Steve McQueen and Peter Falk, per her IMDB. Her roles on Broadway included Nerissa in “The Merchant of Venice.” However, she was best known for her long run as Polly in “Threepenny Opera.”

She Gave Up Her Career For Family Life

Joel and Jo married in 1958. Jo put her Broadway dreams on the backburner while making a home for the happy couple, according to Joel’s memoir “Master of Ceremonies: Me.” On March 26, 1960, they welcomed daughter Jennifer Grey, who would go on to star in Dirty Dancing and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Two years later, Jennifer’s brother James was born.

Did Jo Know About Joel’s Sexuality Before He Came Out?

At the age of 82, Joel publicly came out as a gay man. “I don’t like labels,” he told People in January 2015. “But if you have to put a label on it, I’m a gay man.” The news came over three decades after he and Jo had went their separate ways and divorced back in 1982.

According to Joel, the couple were blissfully living a heteroseuxual life for most of their marriage. “None,” Joel said of Jo having any clue about his homosexuality, per Playbill. “Know why? Because I was totally in love with her. We were living totally a heterosexual life. I made a decision what I wanted in life: a family and a career. As a small boy, I always was attracted to babies. I knew I would be a dad, never knowing anything else or that this might be difficult. It never occurred to me because it was such a powerful force in me. Today, of course, you can be gay and have babies.”

Joel Admitted He Told Jo Before Publicly Coming Out

See more

Joel described the period of his marriage as “the happiest of my life” and said he had not kept his sexuality a secret from his family but it was still a significant step for him to declare it publicly. In an interview with People magazine in 2015, he added: “All the people close to me have known for years who I am. [Yet] it took time to embrace that other part of who I always was.” Jo has yet to publicly comment on the divorce and Joel’s coming out.

Joel’s Family Took A Moment To Adjust

Joel and Jo’s daughter Jennifer opened up about of her father’s coming out in 2015: “I feel very happy for my dad that he has come to a point in his life where he feels safe and comfortable enough to declare himself in a public way as a gay man,” she told People. “Mostly because the more people are free to own their true nature and can hopefully come closer to love and accept themselves as they really are, no matter what age. no matter how long it takes, to finally be free of the lies or half truths, it is freedom.”

However, Jennifer admitted it was initially hard for her mother. “At the time, it was, like, warfare. It was an act of aggression. Perhaps she was offended by the lack of transparency,” she told People in 2022. “I don’t know what anybody else is thinking. All I know, all I knew at the time was that it felt like it was a sniper attack. The idea was that I was a fool and that everyone knew but me.”