Kaitlynn Carter, 31, is speaking her truth and revealing the intimate details of how she came to terms with her relationship with Miley Cyrus, 26. Kaitlynn and Miley had a highly publicized romance that lasted from August until the end of September, as Miley was still grappling with her split from Liam Hemsworth, 29. In August, both women went on a trip to Italy where their relationship went from friendship to something much more. “I went on vacation with a female friend; the next thing I knew, I was in love with her,” Kaitlynn wrote in her essay for Elle on Nov. 4. Of course, her feelings weren’t really that simple, but Kaitlynn even revealed that they also weren’t “very complicated, either.”
Miley and Kaitlynn had known each other for years prior to taking their relationship to a more romantic level. For Kaitlynn, “it had never crossed my mind that I was even capable of loving a woman the way I loved her. But after reflecting on my romantic history, I realized that I’ve never really had a ‘type.'” When their relationship went public, Kaitlynn and Miley were put under a lot of scrutiny from the public, as their sexuality was questioned and the validity of their relationship was challenged. Kaitlynn, however, was discovering a new means of feeling attraction for another person, describing how she found herself “attracted to people in a way that seems disconnected from sex and physical traits, and more connected to a person’s mind.”
Instead of defining herself, Kaitlynn instead chose to simply focus on her own, personal journey, and acknowledge how “We’ve become a society of labels, even as we claim to be more open-minded than ever.” But Kaitlynn’s journey wasn’t easy. Along with talking about her relationship with Miley, whom she never names in the essay, she also talked about her non-legal marriage to Brody Jenner, 36, which lasted from 2018-2019. She revealed how Brody had a “tireless sense of adventure.” While the couple led an exciting life together, Kaitlynn eventually found that “we’d done as much growing apart as we’d done growing up. I began to spend a lot of time traveling on my own or with friends, quietly mourning what I knew in my heart would soon be the end of my marriage.”
As her relationship with Brody came to an end, her romance with Miley started to blossom. “It just happened,” she confessed, adding, “and it felt exactly right. Reflecting back on our three-year friendship, I realized I’d always been drawn to her in a way I wasn’t with other friends, but until that trip it had never crossed my mind to think of her in a romantic sense.”
Now, with her relationship with Miley behind her, Kaitlynn is coming to terms with her identity — or lack thereof. “I believe it was all just a matter of chemistry that had nothing to do with gender,” she shared. “I still don’t feel like I’m in a place to label my sexuality one way or another, but I’m okay with that. It’s something I’m still exploring and figuring out…Even I don’t entirely understand what my experience means for me going forward — and it’s my experience.”
Through it all, though, Kaitlynn remains “eternally grateful” that her relationship with Miley happened and how it opened her eyes “to this unexplored part of myself, and for inspiring a new level of self-discovery and wonder at all the possibilities of life…I’ve also been forced to reckon with who I am as a person.” For now, Kaitlynn is looking towards the future, and parting her essay with a words of advice to readers. “Remain curious,” she posed to her readers. “Know that there are many layers within you — and they just might be the most invaluable ones.”