First things first. When you’re away from your partner, it’s all about the connection. For some, that means picking up your phone and texting — which is a good way to initiate phone sex, Dr. Emily Morse, creator and host of the Sex With Emily podcast told HollywoodLife.com exclusively. “Start out with a sexy text message, signaling to your partner that you’re really turned on thinking about what you wish you could be doing to them at that moment. Follow up with, it would be so hot to hear your voice right now. This way you’ve got the dirty talking party started,” she said.
So some people may feel embarrassed actually getting on the phone and talking dirty. So how do we get over that? It’s all about keeping it simple, sex therapist Vanessa Marin told us. “Don’t get overly complicated your first few tries! Even basic statements like, ‘that turns me on so much’ can be hot,” she said. “You can also subtly encourage your partner to take the lead, by saying things like, ‘and what would you do to me next?'”
Emily also added to remember that just like normal sex, phone sex doesn’t run as smoothly as planning, and that’s fine. “If you’re worried about what to say, make a cheat sheet before you start so you have something to refer to (your partner will never know),” she said. “You can also practice in the car while you’re driving or taking a shower.”
Here are some more dos and don’ts, straight from the pros:
DO:
– Describe what you’re doing to yourself OR what you want your partner to do.
– Use your own past experiences for inspiration! You can even say “remember that time…” if it was with the same partner.
– Pay attention to your tone — speak slowly and breathy. Don’t be afraid to moan, too!
AVOID:
– Bad timing: don’t initiate if your partner is working or at lunch with their parents.
– Skipping to the climax. Just like with real sex, you want to build the tension.
“Really the only major faux pas is not saying anything in return,” Emily added. “If you can’t think of anything to say in the moment, you can always fall back on things like ‘that’s so hot’ or ‘what would you do next?'”
HollywoodLifers, will you try phone sex?