It’s hard enough on children to watch their single parents date. It’s scary and confusing to have new people come into their lives, competing for their parents’ affections.
But in Ricki’s case, she has only known one parent her whole life because her father died before she was born. Emily, you are Ricki’s anchor. You are her everything.
That is a tremendous responsibility, and you mustn’t take it lightly. Your daughter is deeply attached to you, and so you have to be careful when you introduce new potential “daddies” into her life.
Ricki Wants A Real Daddy, Not Fly By Night Daddies
Bringing new men into Ricki’s life has to stir up a lot of emotions for her. On one hand, she would probably love to have a daddy of her own. But she also probably fears losing you, to a man. After all, she doesn’t really know what it’s like to share her mom.
But it’s even tougher for Ricki than for most children in a similar situation. #1) You’re her mom, and you have had two “fiances” within a very short period of time that you’ve asked Ricki to accept and get close to. Then, #2) You’re doing your romancing on TV in the public eye, and little Ricki has to know about it, hear about it and see it.
Ricki has probably seen you flirting and even kissing different men on TV. That must be so confusing and probably upsetting to her. Plus, her friends and all their parents have probably watched you on TV.
Ricki is just seven years old, and that’s so embarrassing for her. She probably cringes when her friends say that they saw you on TV…especially if they saw you kissing or being intimate with all these men.
Poor Ricki Got Attached To Brad and Jef
So, Ricki has to cope with all the typical conflicting and upsetting emotions that any child of a single dating parent has to deal with, but she also has the pressure of your very public romances, on her little shoulders.
Then there’s the fact that she probably formed some attachments to Brad Womack and Jef Holm. Why wouldn’t she? You as her mom would have encouraged her to like Brad and Jef — after all, you were engaged to them. Brad and Jef both spent time with Ricki — especially, Jef.
Jef was carpooling Ricki to school and was even there for her milestone first day of school this year. “First day of first grade was a success,” he tweeted on Aug. 23. He even got involved in her soccer league. “Today is the big day, my first game as Ricki’s soccer coach. Running thru the playback in my mind”, he tweeted as recently as Sept. 15.
How disappointing for Ricki to get attached to Jef, have him play Dad and then have him leave her life.
Emily — you can’t do this to Ricki again until you have truly found “Mr. Right Forever”, not “Mr. Right for the Spotlight.”
“Children should not be introduced to a new boyfriend until the relationship is serious. The person could disappear and the child will be disappointed like in this case,” agrees psychotherapist, Dr. Gilda Carle, Today.com’s 30 Second Therapist. “It’s too bad. The kids establish ties with these new partners — and all of a sudden, they are not around anymore.”
Your Daughter Needs To Be Your Focus Again
Ricki has already had too much loss in her young life. You need to shield her from future emotional loss even if it means staying away from all future reality show dating, Emily.
Let Ricki’s life get back to normal. Let her be stable and have you around devoted to her. After all, you’ve been away no doubt for weeks at a time filming The Bachelor and the The Bachelorette.
“It would be best for her mom not to date for a while, and certainly not to date anyone high profile. Instead, she should spend a lot of time with Ricki to help her heal,” advises Beverly Hills psychiatrist, Dr. Carole Lieberman, author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets.
Emily, you must have learned by now that reality TV is NOT the place to find true love. I hope you’ve also learned that it is NOT the place to find a great dad for Ricki! Do you agree, HollywoodLifers?
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— Bonnie Fuller
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